??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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