That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
