Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
