her facebook's as public as her vagina
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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