Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
