is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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