no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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