i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize