Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
