I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
