Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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