i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
