No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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