White coat. Heels.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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