I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
