tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
