..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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