i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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