If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
