We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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