My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize