I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
