I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
