you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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