when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
