he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize