maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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