i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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