We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
