something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
