you guys were way drunker than both of me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
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Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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