soooo we both peed the bed last night...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
