So drunk its hurt
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
