No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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