So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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