atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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