U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
