shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
