We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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