You're a womanizer and a bitch.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
