I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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