I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
