Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
