A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
