He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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