shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
