No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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