I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize