Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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