I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize