we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
