i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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