as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize