I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell