you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud