Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
