Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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