After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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