oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
