A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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