If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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