Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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