I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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