happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
