love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
