508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
