her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm at about main and main street
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i've created a new STD.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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