I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
